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so i sing a song of pain

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  • so i sing a song of pain

    your voice could sooth the souls of a thousand sinners
    like a shot of straight liqour to calm my racing mind
    like a shot of hot coffee and cold beer to keep me up
    such pretty words to keep me and my emmotions in line
    with a spine with elastic stretch that bends you back
    words is all you use to condition the pain people bring
    angels revolve around puddles that leak from your sadness
    youll be free once God discovers he forgot your wings
    so i sing a song of pain as my voice steers off key
    and i often forget to sing and talk the words i affirm
    as the scissors swim thru the line that sperates whats vital
    as these meaningless titles blind the thoughts i churn
    and iv noticed a dark splender about the sky
    as it goes from black to blue and returns back to you
    like a baby stuck in a whoom just to end up in a coffin
    i wonder why everythings a circle when a line brings new
    its just these summer lights that dim my mind with shades
    as glaucoma settles in and i miss the world spin
    i feel a sickness in my stomache and vomit this confusion
    as we collapse and rebuild ourselves again and again

  • #2
    beautifully written, i like your similes that you used
    This is why people need to go to college.

    Originally posted by Dirty F


    this n*gga think you can major in "business"!

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    • #3
      thnx man...uppin for feed

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      • #4
        Only complaint I could muster up, was you had a rhyme scheme that you didn't seem to follow all the way through.. but I guess it's not a bad thing.

        I really liked that.. Good stuff.

        If you put it into stanza's though, it'll make it look nicer, and just come off more structured.
        Now let the night be dark for all of me.
        Let the night be too dark for me to see
        Into the future. Let what will be, be.'

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        • #5
          yum yum thats wikid, wikid lines, mad imagery/theme linked very well

          except what is the 'line' that brings 'new'?

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          • #6
            it's odd you say that farmer B , I was wondering the same thing on that same part


            I actually like that is messy and un structured / stanzed"
            it requires me to imagine where to place my mind on each frame
            this poem is unlike many others here that I have read

            this one actually got me thinking"

            only one other question , where can I read more of ur work?
            Cha Cha ChaZie

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            • #7
              i post on here often....so just look for my name here....and "i wonder why everythings a circle when a line brings new" means a circle is continuous..and a line is always seeing sumtin new..neevr ends

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