HIP HOP LIFESTYLE

Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

My suicide

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • My suicide

    My suicide
    I sit here everyday
    Thinking bout what I can do or say
    To make it better
    Its like this paper towel I知 standing on keeps getting wetter
    And someday I知 gonna fall to my death
    Wich I知 hoping will happen soon
    So it will all be over and I will be free to be me
    Without having to prove myself to everyone and everything
    And maybe this world will be a better place without me
    But don稚 you see
    I知 stuck here for a while but whats the good
    I aint making anyone smile
    So I can choose to stay and stick out all the pain
    Or end it right here and nowits not like anyone will moan or complain
    Just guess wich one I chose
    I took the quick and easy one
    And used my dads gun
    I知 gone yippy hooray
    Now go on and enjoy your day
    2nd one i eva did......

  • #2
    Nice 1st post.

    As for the poem..


    Topic - Played out you could have made it original, then againt his is only your second poem.

    Flow - Not bad but not breath taking

    Vocabulary - Not that of a 6 year old but, not up to par with what a poet in my opinion should use.

    Overall not horrible but not excellent keep writting.

    Comment

    Post ad widget 300x250

    Collapse

    LATEST POSTS

    Collapse

    Topics Statistics Last Post
    Started by Deborahlanker, 08-26-2020, 01:33 AM
    5 responses
    59 views
    0 likes
    Last Post kenelty
    by kenelty
     
    Started by Cokiger, 10-24-2021, 06:16 AM
    2 responses
    11 views
    0 likes
    Last Post Heun
    by Heun
     
    Started by Jull1968, Today, 03:24 AM
    0 responses
    2 views
    0 likes
    Last Post Jull1968  
    Started by trueketosale, Today, 01:43 AM
    0 responses
    2 views
    0 likes
    Last Post trueketosale  
    Started by trueketosale, Today, 01:42 AM
    0 responses
    2 views
    0 likes
    Last Post trueketosale  
    Started by Deborahlanker, 07-09-2021, 09:24 AM
    7 responses
    16 views
    0 likes
    Last Post Doro
    by Doro
     
    Started by Deborahlanker, 10-03-2020, 10:03 PM
    1 response
    6 views
    0 likes
    Last Post Ella Benson  
    Started by BarreraEarlu, Yesterday, 11:40 PM
    0 responses
    3 views
    0 likes
    Last Post BarreraEarlu  
    Started by Nork1981, Yesterday, 11:08 PM
    0 responses
    4 views
    0 likes
    Last Post Nork1981  
    Started by Leila44, Yesterday, 05:26 AM
    0 responses
    2 views
    0 likes
    Last Post Leila44
    by Leila44
     
    Working...
    X