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  • breakwithhate
    replied
    thnx, repped

    Leave a comment:


  • BLCOKC
    replied
    I like the discapline in your poetry's structure
    when I read poems like this it makes me realise how "all over the place" my rhymes can become

    with the fact you stuck to 6 syllables it allows alotta subliminal images to suface reading it (for me personally)
    it also comes across as an invtation to my twerk my imagination
    and see the poem not just hear or read it

    very nice work ~ Bravo

    Leave a comment:


  • breakwithhate
    started a topic Untitled [feed plzzz]

    Untitled [feed plzzz]

    The gun cocked, safety off
    Each step observed - wait.
    Bellet sherltered since birth
    One pupose to fulfill,
    When the words lose worth, kill.

    The wall will not budge, strain
    Cracks the sky, until hell
    Falls into heaven - merged.
    Meaning is lost, the wall
    Gains muscle. So I conform.

    A sponge resisted from
    Absorbing the moisture.
    But the pressure amounts,
    Unfiltered water soaked.

    Acid flows in the veins,
    Polluting once pure blood.
    The measures taken to
    Destroy the wall, backfire.

    Destiny calls, for the
    Bullet to fly. I sneak
    Up, gun held steady - fire.
    My knees collide with earth.

    And then, I am reborn.
    --------------------------
    its a meter poem,
    6 syllables per line...which is why sometimes the wording is weirddd...feeed plzzzzz will uppppppppp

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