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  • Lost love...

    You say you love me
    and that your true.
    I'm still thinking why the hell am I with you?
    You make me mad...
    You make me lonely...
    You got me saying, no more I cant take this hommie.
    Time has pasted and I dont wanna look like the *ss.
    Could you please let everyone know that your a piece of trash?
    On your way, do you think you can shout it out?
    Cause about right now I think I'm gonna pass out.
    I feel like such a big girl,I'm standing my ground...
    How did I get here so broke down?
    I know you have done your best on making my life a mess.
    But dont you worry anymore.Cause I'm passing you the stress...
    I hope you see this my way...
    Cause its time for you to hit the highway.
    From your lost love...~ME~
    ~*RITA*~

  • #2
    The topic was the only part semi-not-horrible.

    -Love poems are played out
    -The flow was forced
    -You used the vocabulary of an 11 year old (Not a problem if you are 11 years old)
    -And your avy annoys me, not that that has anything to do with the poem

    Comment


    • #3
      ^Hahaha.

      Yeah, this is not good at all. There are no quotables and it lacks a lot of creativity. Shit is so played out. I guess it wouldn't matter if the topic is played out since it's a reflection of your experience and emotions, but you gotta execute it well with the originality in the substance.

      Peace.
      P!

      Comment


      • #4
        Originally posted by Starie88
        The topic was the only part semi-not-horrible.
        -Love poems are played out
        -The flow was forced
        -You used the vocabulary of an 11 year old (Not a problem if you are 11 years old)
        -And your avy annoys me, not that that has anything to do with the poem
        Love poems aren't played out.

        Everyone will write one at one point, if you're a writer, usually.

        it's a matter of finding a nice, fresh, creative way of delivering it that's the problem.

        Most people, typically teens throw out recycled garbage that sounds the same.. just like people who do poems about "cutters" and whatnot.
        Last edited by Psycho69; 04-24-2006, 03:13 PM.
        Now let the night be dark for all of me.
        Let the night be too dark for me to see
        Into the future. Let what will be, be.'

        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by Psycho69
          Love poems aren't played out.
          Everyone will write one at one point, if you're a writer, usually.
          it's a matter of finding a nice, fresh, creative way of delivering it that's the problem.
          Most people, typically teens throw out recycled garbage that sounds the same.. just like people who do poems about "cutters" and whatnot.


          Why do one if thats what everyone is doing? Be original. If you absolutely have to write a love poem add some kind of special touch or twist to it. I addmit to writting a love poem though.

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by Starie88
            Why do one if thats what everyone is doing? Be original. If you absolutely have to write a love poem add some kind of special touch or twist to it. I addmit to writting a love poem though.
            because poetry is a way to express your feelings.

            And taking into consideration love is the most obvious and present emotion...... I don't think I need to explain the rest.

            And you just reworded my entire post.. :-/
            Now let the night be dark for all of me.
            Let the night be too dark for me to see
            Into the future. Let what will be, be.'

            Comment


            • #7
              If you are going to post the poem on the internet the object is to take what other people tell you and learn from it. Telling "PrittyBabie72" that her verison of this topic is played is nothing but the truth.

              Love is the most obvious emotion that is another reason not to do a love poem. Poetry is about saying things in a different way and having twists in plot to propel the reader through your work. Picking something discribed as obvious almost controdicts (sp?) what poetry is in my point of view.




              Sorry PrittBabie72 for turning your thread into a minni love poem debate.

              Comment


              • #8
                lol... why do you keep arguing the same point as me and repeating exactly what I said in different words?

                :-/

                Moooooooving on.
                Now let the night be dark for all of me.
                Let the night be too dark for me to see
                Into the future. Let what will be, be.'

                Comment


                • #9
                  If you think loves poems are played out, then so are poems about life in general. No doubt poetry is about having your own style of thoughts, but that can still be achieved through writing about a "played out" topic; you just have your own style of executing it with your own experiences.

                  However, it would still be a good idea have also write about topics other people don't use as often since you need to have more variety as well.

                  Peace.
                  P!

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    There are millions of poems in the world, of course somethings going to be played out. As a matter of fact, a lot of it is. Everybody deals with shit and a lot of people write poetry. What makes poetry special is how someone can express themselves in a unique way..
                    Originally posted by Realize
                    evilspecialist has always been a god of poetry even before his join date of june 04

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