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The Mask (with video poem)

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  • The Mask (with video poem)

    I felt really thrown today. Some unbelievable, and un-sunkinyet shit has gone down on the home front that.. idk


    "The Mask"

    for a year and a half
    youve been my better half
    parties, court dates, tears and laughs
    we had all that

    See-
    Ive never been in love before
    Shit-
    Marriage? I didnt believe in it
    50 bucks to the state
    to show your love and seal your fate?
    Nah- thats fake
    and my mind wasnt concieving it

    But you changed my mind
    I thought, when you showed your face
    That I would never ever put some so-so in your place

    I was blinded
    your love was so great,
    it spilled over.
    The force pushed off the mask u wore
    the thud was heard the world over

    Beneath lay ugliness
    A twisted face i couldnt place
    You WRETCH
    Countenance so foul I had to turn away

    My heart has been raped
    I feel like I gave it without consent
    To the farse, the mask, the fake and the phony
    It is the real you that I resent

    Sweet nothings to your mistress, disowning me
    but at home you think you own me?
    That I can be cohearsed with apologies?
    Well than, likewise? you must not know me

    Was it all a waste?
    All that we've made, done all this time?
    You can walk run or drive
    but you can not stay by

    So its time to say bye
    Your face twisted, you give me best wishes
    as i mourn the man I once loved
    who never existed.


    youtube video...
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QRRMtgB0Wps
    Last edited by Rogue Verse; 02-08-2007, 04:59 PM.
    \

  • #2
    Nice job.

    Simple rhymes, but it helped maintain a decent flow. I sort of lost it at times, but it always picked back up.

    I'm also big on great one-liner endings. and you ended it very nicely.

    Good work.
    Now let the night be dark for all of me.
    Let the night be too dark for me to see
    Into the future. Let what will be, be.'

    Comment


    • #3
      thanks, youtube being weird. ill put the link up later. i think when u hear poems its so much better than reading.
      \

      Comment


      • #4
        good job
        http://painizlove18.blogspot.com/

        R.I.P. PROOF

        Comment


        • #5
          Good Job

          Comment


          • #6
            Great job, good read.

            Comment


            • #7
              good job!
              You don't understand, I'm just the best that ever did it,
              When my physical form's gone, I'll spit it from the spirit.

              Comment


              • #8
                nice

                Comment

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