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  • Need some serious advice

    My girlfriends younger sister goes to the same college as us and last night she broke down and told me that someone at school raped her not too long ago. As it turns the kid she said who raped her is the younger brother of a real good friend of mine. I've never personally known someone who's been through what she's been and at this point I really don't know what to do. I will probably end up tell her sister and am thinking about either confronting the asshole straight up or let his older brother know and let him take care of it. I would really appreciate it if you guys could maybe help me determine what's the right thing to do in this situation. Thanks beforehand.
    “Dream as if you'll live forever, live as if you'll die today.” - James Dean

  • #2
    you could tell the girls parents or her sister, and then they would do what they feel is neccesery (probably go to police). and if you go to her parents and tell her then you know you are helping, and also it might be a little bit easier that way because you dont have to deal directly with the family of the person you know. or you could speak to your college, they usually have a list of help lines that can help

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    • #3
      That's a tough situation.
      Don't let this go, tell the brother of the guy first then tell your girlfriend. Tell your friend that he has to do something about it... I don't really know exactly how it is there but that's what I guess would be a good move. But you really are obligated to do something or tell someone.
      Good luck.

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      • #4
        you need to respect what the girl wants, don't go straight out telling your gf, then your friend, take shit slow man, its not something to rush into you need to respect her feelings with it.

        talk to her some more about it, ask her if your gf can know about it, if she says no, try and convince her its the right thing to do and you guys are there to help her.

        why hasn't she gone to the police already? is it because she only knows who the guy is and can't find him now or because shes scared of coming forward?

        anyway man girls can get really messed up for life after rape, dont be telling everybody about it even though i know your intentions are good, ask her what she wants to do, if she says "nothing" you gotta try and convince her, i think the best way to move on from some shit is to have closure, and if she doesn't she'll keep it bottled up inside and its gonna hurt her.

        i hope this helped, keep us updated, goodluck buddy.

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        • #5
          ^I agree, respect what the girl wants.

          If it was me, I'd be straight in the face of the dood who did it. Confront him on his own, let him know that you know, and he's in for some serious shit. Maybe even say if he doesnt own up to it, you will do it for him.
          Esteemed Entity

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          • #6
            Originally posted by 25% Skill
            why hasn't she gone to the police already? is it because she only knows who the guy is and can't find him now or because shes scared of coming forward?
            she thinks it's her fault
            “Dream as if you'll live forever, live as if you'll die today.” - James Dean

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            • #7
              go 2 the girl's parents first
              I rap.

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              • #8
                Don't approach the guy who did it or his brother, that's the worst thing you can do right now because I guarantee you that the guy who did it will approach her AGAIN. You are not trying to terrorize this poor girl, you are trying to help her. What you need to do is coax her into reporting the crime. You absolutely cannot approach the guy who did it or the brother because nothing good will come out of it. They will try to humiliate her or worse.

                The other suggestion of going to the girl's parents is the best one so far though. They will be more likely to urge her to get the help she needs.

                Good luck whatever happens though, that's a tough spot to be in.
                (F)R.I.P. Big Proof(F)

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                • #9
                  Originally posted by 25% Skill
                  you need to respect what the girl wants, don't go straight out telling your gf, then your friend, take shit slow man, its not something to rush into you need to respect her feelings with it.
                  talk to her some more about it, ask her if your gf can know about it, if she says no, try and convince her its the right thing to do and you guys are there to help her.
                  why hasn't she gone to the police already? is it because she only knows who the guy is and can't find him now or because shes scared of coming forward?
                  anyway man girls can get really messed up for life after rape, dont be telling everybody about it even though i know your intentions are good, ask her what she wants to do, if she says "nothing" you gotta try and convince her, i think the best way to move on from some shit is to have closure, and if she doesn't she'll keep it bottled up inside and its gonna hurt her.
                  i hope this helped, keep us updated, goodluck buddy.
                  Originally posted by jevoli
                  Don't approach the guy who did it or his brother, that's the worst thing you can do right now because I guarantee you that the guy who did it will approach her AGAIN. You are not trying to terrorize this poor girl, you are trying to help her. What you need to do is coax her into reporting the crime. You absolutely cannot approach the guy who did it or the brother because nothing good will come out of it. They will try to humiliate her or worse.

                  The other suggestion of going to the girl's parents is the best one so far though. They will be more likely to urge her to get the help she needs.

                  Good luck whatever happens though, that's a tough spot to be in.
                  I agree with these two, really good advise. Why do you think she decided to tell you instead of her sister? Talk to her again, try to convince her its not her fault and that she should tell her family. If you feel really stuck with the situation, tell your girlfriend, I think thats an ok thing to do. I think it would be a really bad idea to tell this guys brother or confront the guy himself like Skill and Jevoli said.
                  AIM: watch dees81

                  http://www.myspace.com/famousandflame

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                  • #10
                    I agree with watch dees and the posters she quoted. It's best to tell your girlfriend first. But she should definitely report the crime to the police. Don't let anybody get away with rape.
                    Originally posted by Rog
                    "Let's go play some football, I'll rape you."
                    Originally posted by Rog
                    One day this girl was being dumb as hell so told her "shut the hell up or we'll rape you."
                    Originally posted by KessenGTR
                    RB is like an orgasm, but it's everlasting.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by spec
                      My girlfriends younger sister goes to the same college as us and last night she broke down and told me that someone at school raped her not too long ago. As it turns the kid she said who raped her is the younger brother of a real good friend of mine. I've never personally known someone who's been through what she's been and at this point I really don't know what to do. I will probably end up tell her sister and am thinking about either confronting the asshole straight up or let his older brother know and let him take care of it. I would really appreciate it if you guys could maybe help me determine what's the right thing to do in this situation. Thanks beforehand.
                      You definately have to do something about it, don't sleep on this. It's good to see you're thinking about telling someone about this.
                      Personally, I would talk to your girlfriend and her parents. Don't take it into your own hands, it can get really ugly and the son of a bitch may get away with it.
                      "Say what you will about the sweet miracle of unquestioning faith, I consider a capacity for it terrifying and absolutely vile."
                      - Kurt Vonnegut

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                      • #12
                        Since my post I've told my girlfriend and she confronted her younger sister and told her that we're gonna help her through this but for some reason the younger sister stopped talking to be because I told my girlfriend. She said that I ruined her life by doing that, which I don't really undertand but hopefully she'll get over that.
                        “Dream as if you'll live forever, live as if you'll die today.” - James Dean

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                        • #13
                          here is my adivce, fuck that little bitch... cause i can almost gurantee you that she is lying, ill tell you the real story right now..they were at a party, they got srunk, they fucked, she regretted it in the morning, created this story, has relived it so many time she now truely believes her own lie...I just read your latest post as writing this, I hope her reaction proves this 2 you

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                          • #14
                            hurtin buddy, i guess it was just not your place to say shit, shell heal and apologise, dotn push it thoe, leave her be, unless she get suicidal or somethin, but otherwise, just fuck off from the situation i guess
                            one thing ive realised it that friends always over step theyre boundries for 'whats right' but sometimes it isnt right, ya, sometimes it is, but if u do overstep youll get burned, and it sounds like you did
                            Last edited by VANCITY; 03-28-2006, 02:12 AM.

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                            • #15
                              Thats strange. A few weeks ago my best friend's cousin broke down into tears as she told me about how a very good friend of mine tried to rape her. I haven't talked to him or his family since. I kind of think he did it though he gets way out of line sometimes. Maybe your girlfriends sister should talk to a counselor about this it might help her get over it. Best of luck to all of you.

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