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Selective Perception: Aliens, Virgins, and Bigfoot (Things I hate pt 10)

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  • Selective Perception: Aliens, Virgins, and Bigfoot (Things I hate pt 10)


    source: http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/610570/posts

    The picture above is scan of the earliest known photograph ever taken and developed. It may look like a drawing but it is indeed a photo. It dates back to 1825 and was taken in France. It is a boy leading a horse (most likely to water). More importantly, it is proof that aliens do not exist.

    "How?", you may ask. Well the answer is simple. When I look at the photo above I see a boy and a horse. However when you look at ANY photograph of "aliens" all I see are blurs and smudges and shadows of skepticism. How is it that a photo taken from 40 years BEFORE the civil war is more revealing than a 7.2 megapixel snap shot taken from a $500 dollar digital camera last month? It's as if every photograph of any elusive creature is taken using a prehistoric, black & white, web cam operated by a cock-eyed, aborigine standing in 12 feet of sewage. Or maybe I'm being too critical. Lets take a look.

    The following picture is an actual photograph of the Abominable Snowman playing rugby with the Loch Ness Monster. At first glance it may be difficult to decipher but upon further examination it's as clear as day. And by "day" I mean cloudy, green, seamen-smeared, diarrhea.


    ^click to reveal the truth^


    Back to the aliens. Here's a picture taken recently in Chile. If you squint your eyes and turn your head sideways you can just make out the little alien walking next to the horse on the left.



    Do you see him? Maybe using this practice image to hone your detective skills will help.



    Still didn't help? Well it's not your fault. After all, the alien photo was taken a few months ago using a primitive Kodak DX6490 with digital zoom. He would have been better off getting a police sketch of E.T. junior than submitting that bogus bullshit to CNN. And how about the latest report of a "Dragon" photographed in the mountains of Tibet? Perhaps this photographer had better luck .



    NOPE. Looks to me like a ripple in a cloud. (ha, that rhymes with "nipple on a clown") Unless they have changed the definition of a "dragon" without telling me, this is bogus. Didn't dragons have legs, and wings, and whats that called again...uh... oh yeah, a head. Are people so obsessed with the concept of the unknown that we must stoop to using fake images as "proof". Ever since Photoshop was invented I have given up on the old "Seeing is Believing" adage. Now I go by a new creed: "Tasting is Believing". So until I sink my pearly yellows' into a slimy hunk of alien flesh I'm not falling for anything.

    I'd like to think that if aliens were really visiting this planet that they would make there presence obviously known. Granted, crop circles were cool for a while but now I'm convinced they are all fake too. Especially since somebody made a crop image of one of the characters from the video game "Space Invaders". Classic prank but now you've gone and ruined it for me. Now I'm gonna have to get abducted in order to become a believer.

    Along those same lines, but possibly more annoying, are the sightings of the "virgin" Mary in bowls of cereal, pieces of toast, piles of fecal matter or in the reflections of windows. The picture below is allegedly a vision of Mary refracting off of a large window in Florida.


    Virgin Mary?

    I would argue that this is clearly a picture of porn legend Ron Jeremy.


    Penis God?

    But it all depends on how gullible you are and what you are willing to believe in. As a skeptic I don't believe in too much. I don't even believe in ultrasound pictures for babies. I guarantee that your ultrasound picture looked like this:



    And, NO, I didn't sneak into your family photo album. But every single ultrasound picture looks exactly the same. Am I the only one to notice this? If I were a gynecologist I would save women the time and effort of getting ultrasound pictures and just hand them ultrasound postcards of the baby above. The women wouldn't know the difference. And I could use all of that spare time too look at their boobs and stuff.



    -----------
    .
    www.CentralDigit.com
    I rap gooder than I speak. ^There's the website.

    My other aliases:
    OnTheShelf
    =TWIB=
    justp1ayin
    The Man

  • #2
    lol, you seem quite angry
    i have a belly full of white dog poop and you lay this shit on me?

    Comment


    • #3
      it depends, sometimes steak tastes better without sauce.

      Comment


      • #4
        There are so many things you hate.


        I dislike people who are gullible enough to believe shit like that, without asking for concrete proof. But I certainly don't hate them.
        no dough ho, you can't fuck with me!

        Comment


        • #5
          lolz get a news colum..



          DAMN THATS MOST ORGINAL COMMENT IVE EVER MADE!

          Comment


          • #6
            Columba also Col∑um ( P ) Pronunciation Key (klm), Saint. 521-597.

            Irish missionary who established a monastery on the island of Iona and subsequently Christianized northern Scotland.
            Originally posted by McWannaBe
            Yesterday, me and my girl were making out and shit like that. When
            I sucked on one of her boobs, fucking MILK CAME OUT!!


            Project certifiedô

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by PH.Luv
              Columba also Col∑um ( P ) Pronunciation Key (klm), Saint. 521-597.

              Irish missionary who established a monastery on the island of Iona and subsequently Christianized northern Scotland.
              You son, Why you trying to red face me and shit :$ (U)

              Comment


              • #8
                Iono im that dude.
                Originally posted by McWannaBe
                Yesterday, me and my girl were making out and shit like that. When
                I sucked on one of her boobs, fucking MILK CAME OUT!!


                Project certifiedô

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by PH.Luv
                  Iono im that dude.
                  im pretty sure you arent.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    ron jeremy guest stars in troma films.
                    My other aliases:
                    justp1ayin
                    West
                    Masai
                    On The Shelf

                    Originally posted by Nasen
                    i seeth for a minute
                    Originally posted by Derty JaSoN
                    i have no clue who was de-re whatever

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by TheRapGame
                      im pretty sure you arent.
                      Originally posted by ClearCutDesigns
                      You son, Why you trying to red face me and shit :$ (U)
                      ^ Word
                      Originally posted by McWannaBe
                      Yesterday, me and my girl were making out and shit like that. When
                      I sucked on one of her boobs, fucking MILK CAME OUT!!


                      Project certifiedô

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        *cough*

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Is this Waldo? 2#:-(
                          Boston Celtics
                          New England Patriots
                          Boston Red Sox

                          Hi haters.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            This looks like it took some time.
                            Originally posted by Obie2005
                            So far i've turned 20 kid's rep's red...

                            To people bad reppin me. keep em comin. I got well over 100,000 rep points so your shit don't faze me.
                            Originally posted by bad rep from obie
                            fuck you - obie2005 ( - 1000 bitch)

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              ^Nah... actually I think this stuff up while I'm at work.. than I usually come home and write it down.. the most time consuming thing was finding a good picture of Ron Jeremy... every time I type his name in a search engine all you find are pics of his cock.

                              NO HOMO
                              .
                              www.CentralDigit.com
                              I rap gooder than I speak. ^There's the website.

                              My other aliases:
                              OnTheShelf
                              =TWIB=
                              justp1ayin
                              The Man

                              Comment

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