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  • Deep Depression

    what up ya'll. listen.. i suffer from some serious depression. like suicide has been attempted, constantly on my mind, and it's been like this for prolly 3 years now. one night i was crying and shit and wanted to jus fuckin end my life so badly, i heard this rapper named marshall mathers aka eminem. i heard some freestyles and i listened to the EP and i was amazed. i read his bio and found out his life is exactly like mine, every single fuckin bit of it. our mothers, our uncles, our love life, every fuckin part. i used him as a fall back and ever time i wanted to fuckin kill myself, i'd listen to his words over and over and it calmed me. i saw that if he could excel at something and could amke it away from the pain and the hurt of everyrday life and achieve his dream, then i can to. that's why i rap. i rap as real as he does and as hard as he does but my shit is strait personal to me. i jus wanted to share that and leave this open for anyone to put they stories down. right now i'm going thru a rough break up and it's fuckin killing me inside.. i'm listening to him right now as i type this to calm me becuz i cannot handle what's going on anymore... ya'll hit me up. thanks for listenin.. i needed to vent
    ------------------------------------
    "He Who Makes a Beast Out of Himself, Gets Rid of the Pain of Being a Man."
    ------------------------------------

  • #2
    hey if you wanna talk feel free to email me...i could talk about eminem for hours...eminem has greatly affected me too, and I have struggled with depression since high school (i am going to be a sophomore in college) things are better now, anyway if you want to talk i wouldnt mind (even if it's just about rap!) peace
    [email protected]
    dirty dozen eighty of us shady brothas ladies love us

    Comment


    • #3
      I'm really sorry

      about your having to go through a break-up and having a tough time right now. I have been through depression and am diagnosed as having chronic major depression. I have been through counseling and have taken medication for this. I am glad to see that you have found a way to help you deal with the pain that you are feeling. That shows that you have coping skills-that is a big bonus for you. I really have to recommend the counseling and medication though, it can make a world of difference really. Try to keep looking forward and not back, the future is what you make it. Good luck to you and know we are here for you.
      "I will go down with this ship
      And I won't put my hands up and surrender
      There will be no white flag above my door
      I'm in love and always will be "


      Dragonweed T"aka Miss Buttersuckel,the sexiest woman north of the Tennessee River

      Comment


      • #4
        listen to my story of my girlie...
        my girlie and i were together for about a month. we were perfect. i seriously thought this was love at first sight. she saw me differently than anyone else. anyway, she started acting weird so i asked her bout it and she said she was fine. then i found an e-mail she wrote to her ex. i confronted her and we talked it out. then that night she got in a hottub with 3 naked dudes and her friend and her were naked. they didn't cheat becuz she can't lie to my face. but it's still the thought of it. then she said she was confused on what she wanted so i decided to give us a break so she could clear her head. she says she wanted to be wit me, then didn't now she does but she's afraid she'll change her mind again so she wants to stay apart for a while. it hurt so much i told her we'll jus end it. it fuckin kills ya'll.... but any of ya'll got opinions?



        and jus to tell ya'll, i've been staying at my friends house and i came home and my pillows smell like my ex girlfriend, i about went crazy 4real...
        ------------------------------------
        "He Who Makes a Beast Out of Himself, Gets Rid of the Pain of Being a Man."
        ------------------------------------

        Comment


        • #5
          Yo Man im sorry...
          I suffered from depression n still am actually.. it just gotten alot worse last year n I myself havent actually attempted suicide came close to tryin to OD though...Ya i get wut u mean bout Eminem.. I listen to Tupac or Eminem (mainly eminem) as an escape.. n i can relate to his shit..alot in SSLP.
          Im in school n i been beaten up, humiliated infront of like 40 people due to their shit n get alotta shit just for likin eminem cuz they think ima wigga or likin tupac sayina ima wannabe thug or sum shit...I jsut got outta dat shit like 3 months ago n got put into sum alternate school i dont really get shit from da people in da class trhough they cool but after summer i gotta get counceling n im like a prozac addict although it dont really do shit for me.... n after 1 semester ima be put back into regular school n be forced to take gym again n get humiliated n take music class again wit da same teacher so he can make fun of me again..How the fuck can takin me outta school n puttin me into a place where i can feel safe n comfortable n then be put back in that fuckin place of torture where im afraid to even goto my locker or walk down a hall....

          Well I guess dats all i gots 2 say u dont gott areply

          Peace
          Now let the night be dark for all of me.
          Let the night be too dark for me to see
          Into the future. Let what will be, be.'

          Comment


          • #6
            yea listenin to em really releases a lot of stress

            Comment


            • #7
              bustina nut can help also

              Comment


              • #8
                4aho just stroke that shit

                Comment


                • #9
                  Okay I'm about to do something corny so nobody laugh-k?

                  This is for you guys; it touched me and now I'm sharing it with you. I hope it helps a little-and it is a little corny but I like the message!

                  A Butterfly

                  A man found a cocoon for a butterfly. One day a small opening appeared, he sat and watched the butterfly for several hours as it struggled to force its body through the little hole. Then it seemed to stop making any progress. It appeared as if it had gotten as far as it could and could go no farther. Then the man decided to help the butterfly.

                  He took a pair of scissors and snipped the remaining bit of the cocoon. The butterfly then emerged easily. Something was strange. The butterfly had a swollen body and shriveled wings. The man continued to watch the butterfly because he expected at any moment, the wings would enlarge and expand to be able to support the body, which would contract in time. Neither happened. In fact, the butterfly spent the rest of its life crawling around with a swollen body and deformed wings. It was never able to fly.

                  What the man in his kindness and haste did not understand, was that the restricting cocoon and the struggle required for the butterfly to get through the small opening of the cocoon are God`s way of forcing fluid from the body of the butterfly into its wings so that it would be ready for flight once it achieved its freedom from the cocoon. Sometimes struggles are exactly what we need in our life.

                  If God allowed us to go through all our life without any obstacles, that would cripple us. We would not be as strong as what we could have been. Not only that, we could never fly.

                  See guys they it is always darkest before the dawn, so just hold on!
                  "I will go down with this ship
                  And I won't put my hands up and surrender
                  There will be no white flag above my door
                  I'm in love and always will be "


                  Dragonweed T"aka Miss Buttersuckel,the sexiest woman north of the Tennessee River

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    ya man dats sum tight shit... schools gay
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                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Deep Depression

                      You know what...a lot of people suffer from depression, me included! When I was a sophomore in high school and first diagnosed, I was totally ashamed and din't know what to do. I thought I was a freak and it was another reason to stay locked up by myself. Well, now it's 9 years later and I am much more comfortable with it. I'm not proud of it...because it hurts. It's all about recognizing it (which you have done) and finding ways to release all of that negativity (which you are learning to do) The most important thing is that you reach out and find people to talk to. When you're down (and I mean REALLY down) that's when you find out who your real friends are. And I think this forum has, and will continue to show you, that you have ALOT of friends here. Me included. Anytime you wanna e-mail me...gimme a holla. Seriously. I can relate in every way. And I will help in any way...:D

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Cool, a depression thread:

                        I can tell you that I will never get seriously depressed ever in my entire life.

                        Yeroc and WildflowerT:

                        I can only say that love is too complicated sometimes. Face it, no-one can read peoples feelings. And everyone wants love. Not love from some person they moderately like, They want love from some ideal companion. With that said, people can be ignorant and selfish towards other people just cause they find better opportunities for this ideal.

                        Conclusion: No matter how well you know a person, Your ultimately alone in life.

                        No matter how many slim shady songs you fall back on for support, their ultimate message in expressing such feelings is to be a man (or woman wildflowerT) and stand on your own two feet.


                        Psycho69:

                        Prozac sucks. It fucks you up and it aint worth shit.

                        Your school is full of retards and fagats. Its full of bullshit.
                        Fuckem All. I aint saying to go up to bullies and say: "Fuck You!". Im saying remain shady. Duck down so you dont need to deal with any of their bullshit. Having people know your an open fan of Eminem got you fucked in the first place. Wait untill you meet some people who respect opinions before revieling yours. If you can, try to convince your parents to let you stay at the alternate school where not many people know you. And maybe you can start from there.

                        This is the same shit that cause Columbine. Its better to be a Soul Survivor in this shit than to conform with it or to kill your self over it.

                        Back in Feudal Japan, Highway bandits raided villages, raping every girl from ages 10 up and killed everyone afterwards, burning their houses and crops.

                        Its a matter of survival.
                        this joke : how many hiphoppers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? .................. three, one to screw in the new lightbulb, and two to argue over how much better the old one was.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Ya, i get wut yer sayin... I mean i wasnt really an open eminem fan they basically saw me readin his book n it all went from there..... I would love to say in the alternate school but my mutha cant do nuttin bout it n its required u atleast try n go back for a semester or sum sit n next year in when the new year starts id be 16 n u cant continue wit da alternate school... n ya i avoid their shit n everythin they always be comin to me n i cuss em off n shit but it usually leads to sum verbal of physical fightin.
                          N ya there was a BIG BIG rumour bout me startin anutha columbine shootin but i didnt deny it actually i was 4really pissed off n this girl asked me bout it n i basically described wut id do... lol luckily she didnt tell the school bout it.. n ya ive had many thoughts about doin a shootin.. shit id do it if i could get my hands on a fuckin gun..

                          KILL EM ALL!
                          Now let the night be dark for all of me.
                          Let the night be too dark for me to see
                          Into the future. Let what will be, be.'

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Now I got another point. Dont get pissed off easily. I aint cuss off mother fuckers on tha automatic.

                            Fuck it, Id just walk off if they taunt, or else just run if it get serious, and start fighting as a last resort(self-defese), cause it aint worth getting hurt over petty shit. Its best to be humble, cause face it, they aint gonna listen what your saying.

                            But if they break or steal ya stuff, then it might be ok ta flip, cause at least ya wuz protecting your stuff and you could hold them responsible for starting shit when talking with the councilors.

                            As for wishing them hurt.
                            Basically they are all retards and fagats like I said. But check reality first. Did you really expect that everyone in life would respect peoples opinions and not be ass-holes?
                            On d12world board, we are constanly discussing how this guy is an ass-hole, this other guy is being a punk-bitch, this and that is wack...........face it, there is alot a bullshit in existence today.
                            There is large population a bastards being born into the world as we speak.
                            Simple.
                            No avoiding it.

                            And if the same punks who messed with you ever ended up in you position, they would probly commit suicide the next day. Your already slightly beyond their level of mental strength for dealing with the bullshit.

                            So the only thing you can do is follow your own code,
                            Keep your mind clear of the crap that the 'other' students follow
                            Refine and stick with what you believe in, (2pac and Eminem)
                            and dont ever be a mindless follower,

                            maybe I think to much
                            this joke : how many hiphoppers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? .................. three, one to screw in the new lightbulb, and two to argue over how much better the old one was.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              just checking in

                              Hows everyone doing today? i had kind of a wierd weekend but im trying right now to get my head straight agian.

                              MC MP- thanks 4 the input-u sound like your head is ok! /good 4 u!

                              ttyl
                              T
                              "I will go down with this ship
                              And I won't put my hands up and surrender
                              There will be no white flag above my door
                              I'm in love and always will be "


                              Dragonweed T"aka Miss Buttersuckel,the sexiest woman north of the Tennessee River

                              Comment

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