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hot karls views: ja rule, em, lil kim much more

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  • hot karls views: ja rule, em, lil kim much more

    This is just some shit from the hot karl website, his views on a few things......HOT KARL SPEAKS THE TRUTH......and tons of ppl are prolly gonna say how is this news? well maybe if its not, but if its not itll be moved, so dont sweat it.


    Some Hip-hop Self Loathing at Friday 18th April, 2003 by Hot Karl
    Hip-hop is so stupid now. Like the dumbest genre available. It’s on the same stupid level as Dexter Manley in a spelling bee. So, I’ve been thinking about it and I figured out some of the lamest aspects of hip-hop right now. Some hold less weight then others; some are just straight up offensive to the art form. It’s kind of an unstructured rant…but here it goes.

    Does anyone remember when beefs meant something? When rappers only recorded a “diss track” when they wanted to start a full fledged war? LL Cool J vs. Kool Moe Dee made our war with Iraq look like we’re using Lazer Tag and Spy Tech to free Baghdad. Nowadays a hip-hop battle is easier to find then a scar on Seal’s face. I mean, Jadakiss seems to battle someone new every week. He’s more like a football team then a rapper. And Ja Rule dissing Eminem is OBVIOUSLY a strategy to help Ja Rule’s current consumer placement. Ja is stuck doing concerts called “Wango Tango” and “Swingin’ 98.6 Summer Breakdown” for Top 40 stations, sandwiched between Shania Twain and the girls who did “The Ketchup Song,” wishing he could still get a “what what.” Dissing the hottest rapper out, unprovoked, has become the way to reach the streets and sell records. When KRS and Shan battled, you knew they HATED each other. I mean 50 and Jay-Z, who used to “hate each other so much,” announced they’re touring together. How cute. BUT, what the fuck? We’re on some WWF bullshit now. I think Mr. Perfect Curt Henning and Ravishing Rick Rude should form a rap group and battle Smilez and Southstarr (That’s only funny if you know that both Mr. Perfect and Rick Rude are dead, and that I think two dead people can beat Smilez and Southstarr). I just hate that beef-ing has become yet another commercial ploy, when at one time it was genuinely fun to follow.

    When did it become OK to rhyme the same word at the end of each line? Unfortunately even rappers I like do this now (i.e. NORE), but I still think it’s ridiculous. If you were to do that while freestyling or battling, they’d throw tomatoes at you like Fozzie The Bear. Is it that difficult to rhyme now? Even Brian Austin Green rhymed with different words on the CD he released when I was a kid. Wait, maybe that’s why everyone changed to using the same word?

    Airbrushing the faces of dead rappers onto your clothing isn’t really a tribute to the deceased; but it is a bad tribute to Anotha Bad Creation and the overalls they used to wear. On a side note, I went to the guy who does all the airbrushing for the Missy Elliot videos, and asked him to make me a portrait for my wall. He seemed down for it at first so I searched through the little notebook with all his previous work. I saw 2Pac, Chick Hearn, Left Eye, Aaliyah…then I realized you had to be dead for him to airbrush you, kinda like getting your face on a stamp. I asked if he could do Biggie and he said yes. But then it hit me. I asked him to do Biggie arm in arm and smiling with another hip-hop legend…Jesus Christ. I wanted it to look like B.I.G and Jesus had come together to form the greatest rap group ever. He seemed a bit rattled by my request, but said yes anyway. I got to pick out Biggie’s outfit (I went with the red jumpsuit and matching Kangol from the cover of The Source) and I made sure that Jesus would be a wearing his thorn headband with visible blood dripping…BUT STILL WITH BLATANT SMILES (cause I know they’d be happy to start this rap group). I was so hyped about my Biggie/Jesus collaboration, until he told me it would cost $500. I slowly walked out of the store and decided I’d wait until I’m on MTV Cribs to get that Biggie/Jesus Team Portrait (mostly for the awkward silence after I point it out on the show). But by then I’ll have enough money to get one of Biggie, Jesus, Ravishing Rick Rude and Mr. Perfect. Now that’s a rap group.

    I think rappers are quickly running out of sexual metaphors. One can only talk about a dick/cock/magic stick/head/dome/brain/vagina/pussy/ill na na or crushing for so long. There are only so many pet names and ways to describe sex available in our language, so I think we’re starting to “reach.” This is most evident in Lil’ Kim’s new song when she says “Queen Bee got the ill deep throat…I can make a Sprite can disappear in my mouth.” IS THAT EVEN SEXY? A whole fucking Sprite can? That sounds nasty, not hot. Those cans are dirty. And imagine it all stuck in her throat and the face she’d be making. It would look painful, right? Yikes. She could get tetanus. And tetanus is not hot. I know that for a fact. That’s my next album title actually, “Tetanus is Not Hot.” Anyway, stop talking about sex unless you have new shit to say about it that makes sense.

    Those are just a few of the things I see in hip-hop that I genuinely hate. Hopefully, it’ll get better…or I’ll keep posting more things that I’ve observed, then hated on. In the meantime, pick up the Smilez and Southstarr CD…and use it as a Frisbee.

    also hot karl raps over the maneater track by hall and oats, and its crazy check it out.
    "I can gather all the news I need on the weather report."

  • #2
    Re: hot karls views: ja rule, em, lil kim much more

    Originally posted by benny`blanco
    Does anyone remember when beefs meant something? When rappers only recorded a “diss track” when they wanted to start a full fledged war? LL Cool J vs. Kool Moe Dee made our war with Iraq look like we’re using Lazer Tag and Spy Tech to free Baghdad.
    this right here is what ive been sayin since forever... ashanti could call eminem a "nasty person" and people would class it as a beef... fuck that
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    • #3
      ^ LMFAO at that picture

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      • #4
        ROFL @ lil kim and her sprite can
        My lyrics are blueprints to money makin' - Tupac

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        • #5
          whats hot karl's webpage

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          • #6
            www.hotkarl.com

            peep the audio....hot karl is crazy...hes gonna blow
            "I can gather all the news I need on the weather report."

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