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verse help please!!

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  • verse help please!!

    im trying to help my friend with his verse in the song, i made some changes but im not sure what else needs to be done, but it still need some work, here it is.


    bitches seem to stick to the first dick they lick/
    theres somthin about the dude who first fucks they pussy lips/
    In the doctor now cause they stubbles itched/
    Hiding the fact that there pussies ripped/
    Probably from a cock whose currently pussy whipped/
    Always eatin ass hole and gettin his dick licked/
    He sees her naked, his shit no longer gets thick/
    shit, he needs to get some viagra, go get that quick/
    Hes so sick of always smearin her lipstick/
    Her pussy to him is like a cousin to a hick/
    he just wants her lips all over his dick so he can bust quick/

    *chorus*



    any feedback will help.

  • #2
    Start Over.
    If The Truth Is Told, The Youth Can Grow And Learn To Survive Until They Gain Control, Nobody Says You Have To Be Gangstas, Hoes, Read More, Learn More Change The Globe.

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    • #3
      hahaha thats what i told him, hes really persistant about keeping this for some reason, you should have read it before i made some changes

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      • #4
        yo keep the end add a good beat copple better rhymeing words and it would br ight
        R.I.P Big Proof

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        • #5
          i cant believe i just took out time to read that.
          Boston, Massachusetts

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          • #6
            Originally posted by dj steve
            im trying to help my friend with his verse in the song, i made some changes but im not sure what else needs to be done, but it still need some work, here it is.


            bitches seem to stick to the first dick they lick/
            theres somthin about the dude who first fucks they pussy lips/
            In the doctor now cause they stubbles itched/
            Hiding the fact that there pussies ripped/
            Probably from a cock whose currently pussy whipped/
            Always eatin ass hole and gettin his dick licked/
            He sees her naked, his shit no longer gets thick/
            shit, he needs to get some viagra, go get that quick/
            Hes so sick of always smearin her lipstick/
            Her pussy to him is like a cousin to a hick/
            he just wants her lips all over his dick so he can bust quick/

            *chorus*



            any feedback will help.


            that was lovely......

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            • #7
              yeah

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              • #8
                Originally posted by Kenny
                i cant believe i just took out time to read that.
                ^ My thoughts exactly.
                ...
                I feast upon the weak, so speek beef - I'll shoot you n scream "Increase the peace!" - Kuniva
                ...

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                • #9
                  is your friend mentally challenged? no offence here..
                  Bang-bang when i chitty-chitty

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                  • #10
                    Oh there nothign offensive about calling someone mentally challenged when there probly not
                    Jus a bad lyrisist
                    Free PSP Legit

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                    • #11
                      idd

                      Tai Mai Shu

                      ......

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                      • #12
                        and this is ur "FRIENDS" shit iz it. now where have we all heard that one b4. sure it wozni u who wrote this ????
                        MEGA PROPS TO NoFear for My Avatar

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